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Joke of the Day

"What did the man with leprosy say to the hooker after he paid her? You can keep the tip."

"I'm going to shave my beard. Her legs will look #FAAAABULOUUUUUS!"

"And then the God said: ""Noah, make a backup. I'm going to format"""

"My boss is currently shopping for quarter million dollar homes. Meanwhile, I'm over here deciding if I really need to spend $2 on lunch."

"Do you want to know a good Jewish wine? Ma, when are we going to Miami?"

"Why does Helium go up? Because the floors Argon."

"A man walks into a bar. He is okay he just has a minor concussion."

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory... All I did was take a day off."

"*horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into an optometrist* Horse: Holy shit please help me"

"I took a girl to Fight Club. Terrible place for a first date. We had nothing to talk about."