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Joke of the Day

"wow this is crazy: over 30,000 white girls ""literally die"" every year because they ""actually can't right now"""

"Q: How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Why are you asking me that question? Can't you see I'm busy!"

"Life without you is like a broken pencil Doesn't fucking matter to me"

"What do you call ravens trying to marry crows. Conspiracy to commit murder."

"Possum 911: What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing? Possum: Oh yeah"

"How do you blow a movie quote? You just put your lips together and whistle"

"Who thought blowing out candles on a cake was a good tradition? Ah yes; wax would go well with this cake and you know what else? Child spit."

"Roses are red violets are blue i have a gun get in the van"

"I wish snacks could talk so they could verify my whereabouts from 1 am to 3 am this morning."

"What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don't take me for granite!"