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Joke of the Day

"Poor old lady!! I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today. Well I'm assuming she was poor, she only had 86p in her purse."

"What do you call a psychic midget wanted by the police? A small medium at large."

"ATTENTION: Can the owner of the 'MarioKart Champion' tshirt return to security? There are several women here who'd like to have sex with you"

"Lumberjacks are good at maths because of their log rhythms Thanks, HL Math."

"Bending over in a short skirt will probably get me further than my expensive education ever will."

"My son answered a test question ""What causes the earth to rotate?"" with ""Fat bottomed girls."" He failed the test but won my RESPECT."

"My daughter complained we were out of snacks so I lifted the couch cushions."

"What's long, green, and smells like bacon? Kermit's finger."

"After God had finished creating 24 hours of alternating light and darkness... One of his angels asked him what he was going to do next. He said, ""I think I'm going to call it a day."""

"I looked at a penny under the microscope. What I saw was magnificent."