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Joke of the Day

"""What doesn't kill you makes you smaller."" ~Mario"

"A man is suing a hardware for selling him a bucket with holes in it. Personally, I don't think his argument holds water."

"What's the best part of eating a burrito? Every time you fart, you lose weight."

"My husband is playing Super Mario Bros with our sons and one of them is having a MAJOR tantrum. Sadly, it's my husband."

"Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners? Because usually they're stuck with reservations."

"I just explained Google to my Granny. ""Pick anything to search for"" I told her. ""What about a nice cream pie?"" She asked. ""Except that."" I replied."

"I feel like the average weatherman is just meteor-ocre."

"Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years."

"I'm eating for six, according to the serving size on every single package of everything ever."

"What did God say when he created the first black person? ""Dammit I burnt one!"""