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Joke of the Day

"They say, ""If you let something go and it comes back, it's yours"" Then does that mean I own all boomerangs?"

"What did the mentally handicapped kid get on his math test? Drool"

"When I die , I want to be thrown out of a plane wearing a Superman costume."

"How did the duck become a junkie? He was addicted to quack."

"Ex girlfriends are like a box of chocolates... ...they'll kill your dog."

"There was a time when I was thin. Sure I was six years old, but I'm confident I can get back in those clothes."

"The distance this fish swam... Is a SCALER not a vector."

"How do you blind an Asian? Put a windshield in front of them."

"So a vegan sits down at a bar... I only know that because he won't shut the fuck up about it."

"My girlfriend refused to make a porno with me.. saying there are enough vine stars already"