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Joke of the Day
"I received some food stamps the other day They tasted terrible."
Next Joke
"[Job interview] Me: [thinking] I hope he doesn't notice the mustard on my shirt Interviewer: [thinking] Is he eating a fkn hotdog?"
"My girlfriend and I decided we aren't ready for a baby yet, so I double-bagged it. It worked; babies cannot breath through two layers of plastic shopping bag."
"Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?"
"ME: i need a loan so i can build a robot army to take over the world with BANKER: what M: oops i meant 'with which to take over the world'"
"I wonder if girls on dates in the 1800's got mad at guys for checking their treasure maps."
"I feel like a taco salad is the worst way to eat a taco, and yet, the best way to eat a salad."
"What's the difference between a cat and a comma One has claws at the end of its paws, the other's a pause at the end of its clause."
"[Gets down on one knee] We can save $7.99 a month if we share a single Netflix account."
"Those men drinking battery acid Will soon be charged"