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Joke of the Day

"Stressed? Try this: Picture a lake at dawn. Ducks beginning to stir... Then drink 22 beers & drive your car into a church."

"Why couldn't Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he 's married."

"I turn hot dog water into ice cubes for house guests I don't like"

"The platypus has to be the WEIRDEST looking animal I've ever gotten pregnant."

"If you 2 apples and your uncle gives you one, what do you have? A sore ass."

"The dyslexic devil worshiper... sold his soul to Santa."

"My friend asked why his computer kept crashing. I told him, 'because they can't drive' . (Girlfriend told me this joke)"

"A boy was sent home from school for saying the C-word His mum said to the kid: 'that wasn't clever was it?' &nbsp; The boy replied 'no, it was cunt'"

"On behalf of all of my black followers, I'd like to remind you all to fuck the police today."

"Relationship Status: I'm a Rubik's Cube. Now try and figure me out."