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Joke of the Day

"Recently started working with homosexuals, I'm having a hard time dealing with the sticky mess. But they insist I style my hair using gel to appear more professional."

"There's a great horse joke I'd like to trot out... But it's lame :("

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it will be a foot!"

"Monocles Why should you never go out drinking if you wear a monocle? Because then you'd be a barnacle."

"The best way to stop uninvited guests from stopping by your home is to always answer the door naked."

"Ultracrepidarianism is the habit of giving opinions & advice on matters outside one's knowledge or competence. Or, as I call it, tweeting."

"Never marry a tennis player Love means nothing to them"

"Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Iinternet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking."

"How to talk to a good girl and bad girl When you talk to a good girl, ask 'How are you?' When you talk to a bad girl, ask 'How much are you?'"