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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil ? One rarely bites and the other barely writes !"

"""Isn't it strange how we were all once an egg?"" I told my wife. ""Well, grandpa still is,"" interrupted my son."

"What did the snowman eat for breakfast? Frosted snow flakes. My 4.5 y/o son came up with this joke, but his punch line was ""snow flakes"". I added the ""frosted"". Teamwork."

"How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek? Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME"

"You know what the problem is with dating a white girl with a mixed baby? The kid never spends the weekend at their dad's house. **I'll just see myself out**"

"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already"

"My dad said ""Do your chemistry homework, okay?"" Potassium"

"Why don't blind people skydive? cos it scares the shit out of their dogs."

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow blower? Give the bitch a shovel."

"What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time *door closes on way out*"