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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil ? One rarely bites and the other barely writes !"

"Nooo shit...me buying too much stuff?! My wife was complaining about the fact that I'm buying too much useless stuff on the internet..... So I sent her back to Thailand."

"What's being in love feel like? You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway? Almost as good as that."

"Q: Why did the one-handed man cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber."

"I exercise religiously. Which means I go running dressed as the Pope."

"I don't know why a dingo would steal a baby when you can steal cool stuff like rollerblades."

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef stroganoff."

"Do you know what beats meat? a hand."

"What happens if you steel? You have to get Alloy-er"