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Joke of the Day

"The couple at the table next to me thinks some really weird girl is eavesdropping on their conversation but I don't see her anywhere."

"Why did the condom cross the road? Because he was pissed off."

"beluga whales singing and one that cant sing lol http://youtu.be/UlJ5GhYzHIY"

"Just told my toddler to eat 5 bites of her dinner, to which she replied I was horrible. So I counted the number 3 twice. Biotch."

"When is the best time to play racquet sports? Ten-ish."

"My superpower is making red lights turn green simply by trying to write a tweet."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Berlin ! Berlin who ? Berlin maiden over !"

"I surveyed 50 women on what hair product they used in the shower. I never knew there was a brand called ""how the hell did you get in here?!'"

"What do you call a really extraordinary farmer? A man outstanding in his field."