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Joke of the Day

"i microwaved an apple to see what would happen but nothing happend and now i just have a really warm apple i don't know what i was expecting"

"Alternate Title for Interstellar [Spoiler] Ghost Dad"

"Someday when I am a parent, I will not vaccinate my kids... I'll get a doctor to do it instead."

"""We have literally a zillion binders full of selfies."" - Top Secret NSA Memo"

"Fish Cakes A guy walks into a bar with a Salmon under his arm and says, ""Do you sell fish cakes here?"" Bartender: No we don't. Guy: That's a shame... it's his birthday."

"If your nervous tick is pointing to the sky then might i suggest not going to auctions anymore."

"A Mexican once tried to steal my golf clubs.. so I had to shoot a hole-in-juan."

"What does a pirate say when he turns 80? Aye matey"

"whats the definition of a will? (lol come on guys its a dead giveaway)"

"If a girl has magnetic personality and still She can't attract the desired boy. Then that means the boy has iron deficiency."