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Joke of the Day

"Multiple personality disorder has made my sex life hard... I want to masturbate , but I'm not into orgies."

"NSFW Dad walks into a room And sees his daughter masturbating with a carrot. ""Daamn"" - he says: ""I was going to eat that later! And now it's gonna taste like carrots!!!"""

"What do you call a blonde who dyed her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot and all over my crotch. Edit: My highest rated post is about coffe on my crotch."

"What do you call a person who doesn't care that he just got kicked out of a Call of Duty team? *unfazed*"

"What is H.P. Lovecraft's cook book called? The Necronomnomnomicon."

"8: I'm gonna marry someone who likes a different cereal than I do, so he won't eat all my favorite cereal. Me: Sounds pretty legit."

"As a non-US-redditor I don't understand why right-wing gun nuts don't get along better with left-wing SJWs... ...they both seem to love triggers so much."

"Seen on the back of a Harley-Davidson Tee Shirt: ""If you can read this, my bitch fell off."""

"Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? A: Senator."