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Joke of the Day
"There's a party in my pants, with an all you can eat buffet, and a VIP entrance in the rear."
Next Joke
"Old Navy is like my weird friend from third grade. Like, I know we used to be really close, but if you asked me if I knew him I'd say no."
"If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to to stand in front of them!"
"I don't ""take"" weed because weed ""took"" my best friend & trapeze partner Corton from me when we were 17. #ImissYouBrother #SwingWithJesus"
"What do you call an irritated nerd? A noyd."
"What do you call a bee's rear end? A Bee-Hind"
"What do bacteria eat for breakfast? prokaryoats"
"Last night I had a dream I was a muffler... And woke up exhausted"
"I once had a selfie with Dwayne Johnson at the Alcatraz Island (during an SF City Tour)... Now I know what it feels to be stucked between The Rock and A Hard Place..."
"What is Chuck Norris' only weakness? Cancer"