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Joke of the Day

"Where does the army keep fish? In a tank."

"Bisexual girls are like spaghetti. Straight until wet."

"What's the difference between a prostitute, a girlfriend and a wife? A prostitute says ""Faster, faster!"" A girlfriend says ""More, more!"" A wife says ""Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."""

"Some people doubt my memory But I can remember last year as if it were yesterday."

"I'm thinking of opening a pre-owned clock store... I'm gonna call it 'Second Hand'."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bowl ! Bowl who ? Bowl me over !"

"What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. Whats blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath"

"A joke I wrote in the style of Mitch Hedberg... I'm gonna change my name to 'marriage,' man. That way, all those girls out there can be saving themselves for *me*!"

"My daughter got her dress caught in the escalator and I had to walk away fast so people wouldn't think she was with me."

"some people want to be buried when they die. others want to be cremated. personally, I think I would like to be brought back to life"