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Joke of the Day

"When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I'm alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I'm fantastic."

"Why couldn't the beaver cook his twigs? He only had Non-Stick pans."

"What are a terrestrial planet's favorite genres of music? Rock and Heavy Metal"

"Chemists Confirm the Existence of New Type of Bond James Bond"

"Whoever invented ""knock knock"" jokes Should get a ""no-bell"" prize."

"I lost my girlfriend recently. Then the topic moved away from science and she was fine again."

"A father asks his son ""Son, why are you not hanging out with Mark any more?"" ""Would you want to hang out with someone who is drunk and does drugs every day?"" ""Of course not!"" ""Well, neither does he."""

"Son, your mom and I have been fighting a lot lately and we have decided that *dad piledrives mom into the coffee table* we're gonna go pro."

"-Come on, it's time to go -No -We are going to be late -I hate school -But Mum, you have to take me!"

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work because the dog just goes ""Cool, now we're both barking!"""