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Joke of the Day

"I said I was a man with a plan. I said nothing about it being a good plan."

"Friends are like snow flakes. If you pee on them they go away."

"Black Ice Slipped on ice today. Didnt know it was black ice until my wallet was gone."

"What do you call a blind deer? No-eye deer. What do you call a blind deer with no legs? *Still* no-eye deer."

"A farmer planted a crop of puns They were home groan."

"Wife: You put the wrong date on this. Me: Oh, yeah. The year change always messes me up. Wife: You wrote 1992."

"One isn't a real number, Real numbers have curves."

"My wife and I have lists for people we'd make exceptions for... I have one for midgets but it's a small list."

"I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close."

"I could bang a midget, but I don't give half a fuck."