144580

Joke of the Day

"Why roboticize vacuuming? It's all instant gratification. It's the crack of cleaning."

"So, A Helium Molecule walks into a bar... the bartender says ""we don't serve don't serve noble gases here."" It Doesn't React!"

"If my wife were a car, she'd be a Ferrari. I paid through the nose for it but only take it out for a spin maybe once a month. ... Also, I wish I had a Ferrari."

"Comcast Cable acquiring Time Warner Cable is a lot like your proctologist acquiring a bigger finger."

"What do Comcast and a bunch of ferrets named Jenny have in common? They're both a pretty shitty business."

"Why can't Ewoks yell and scream in the house? They have to use their Endor voices."

"I just invented a new catch phrase What's yer Rush Limbaugh? Get back to me immediately and tell me if you love it or just like it."

"think of the children! so a man is raping a woman in the park the woman cries out ""THINK OF MY CHILDREN!"" pervy bitch.."

"[spelling bee] Your word is ""pneumonia"". ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Of course, you can use any word in a sentence. No more hints."

"A sadist and a masochist are talking. The masochist says, ""Hit me!"" The sadist says, ""No."""