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Joke of the Day

"This girl wanted me to take her somewhere nice to eat so I said, ""How about sonic?"" She said, ""That's not somewhere nice"" I said, ""It is if you go in a nice car."""

"What does Hulk say when he poops? IBM!"

"What is the definition of ""indefinitely""? When your balls slap your girlfriend's ass, you know you're in definitely."

"Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House? So she can be pardoned."

"Water into wine? I just turned my paycheck into vodka. Your move, Jesus."

"Q: What do you call the loser in a hissing scratching cat fight? - A: Claude"

"Turns out I wasn't in narnia, I was in my dishwasher high on bath salts"

"What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs."

"Why did the elk cry at the funeral? He had lost a deer friend"

"Interviewer: How do you spell Mississippi? Redneck: Which one? The river or the state?"