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Joke of the Day

"Stevie Wonder walks into a bar... and a chair, and a table."

"Apple was going to make a smaller version of the ipod touch for kids, until they realized the name iTouch Kids wasnt an acceptable name."

"What is the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before eating it."

"There are 2 kinds of people in this world: 1. People who aren't good with numbers"

"A guy calls 911 Guy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Guy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Guy: The ugly one is winning."

"The doctor said I had a bad case of kyphosis. ""Are you sure?"" I said. He replied, ""Honestly, it's just a hunch."" Edit: [Jokes are funnier when explained](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyphosis)."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? The C"

"I just checked out the new Windows 10 browser. I'm still on the edge to download Google Chrome."

"I hate when you forget to wear a belt and have to shoot heroin using the blood pressure machine at walgreens."

"Deceitful atoms.. Never trust an atom... They make up everything."