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Joke of the Day
"If cops were really public servants they'd stop pulling me over and start cleaning my house."
Next Joke
"TIL something incredibly shocking about Germany's former Chancellor... ...he was **literally** Hitler"
"Where do cats go once they have used up all nine of their lives? Purrgatory."
"Two Peanuts were Walking though the Park and one was a salted."
"All of the Apple fanboys are missing the main feature they can hold over android users Their nude pictures are automatically synced to 4chan and reddit."
"Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo."
"Why don't you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."
"I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic"
"""You can't tell me what to do! I do what I want!""- toddlers, teenagers and US congress"
"Travel Agent: Hello sir! Interested in a vacation? Me: *puts cat on the phone* [20 mins later] Travel Agent: I've got you booked for Maui"