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Joke of the Day

"How many shaves does it take to remove all a persons pubic hair? A brazillion!"

"If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out ""Marry me?"" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples."

"Michael Phelps & I have a combined 19 gold medals & 4 DUI's."

"*brakes hard* *throws arm across passenger seat to protect pizza*"

"Rape jokes aren't funny, but ... I got some hilarious rape seed material."

"Two ants, Jack and Rose, are sitting on a leaf on water. Suddenly, a small tide comes and upturns the leaf. Only the girl ant sinks... ...because the other is a buoy ant"

"That's weird, my waitress stopped flirting after I paid the bill..."

"[1st day as cop] captain: ""why did you call for back up"" me: ""there was a fly in my car"" swat team leader: ""what exactly do you think we do"""

"*Caterpillar marriage therapy* Wife: he's not the man I married Husband flying around room: I'm the same on the inside Karen!!!"

"What kind of bees make milk? Boo-bees"