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Joke of the Day

"I'm the type of person that tries to fall back asleep in the morning just to finish a dream."

"I don't know how to do my own taxes or understand how the stock market works, but definitely listen to my political opinions on everything"

"What has been confirmed when Ariana Grande spat on the donuts? She's a spitter, not a swallower."

"Him: How does my football throw look to you? Me: Like you're good at science..."

"What's white on top and black on bottom? Society What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape"

"Whenever I drop something edible I just call my dog over to clean it up."

"What's the most outplayed joke in all of /r/jokes? [removed]"

"""We like the idea, we do. We're just afraid it's going to keep the viewer awake."" - Sundance Channel execs"

"What did the watch say when the necklace, earrings, purse and ring killed the shoes? I won't be an accessory to this."

"The forecast isn't calling for rain so I'm just going to wash my car to prove the weatherman wrong"