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Joke of the Day
"Apparently the police think the murder weapon was a colander. But that theory doesn't hold water."
Next Joke
"GOOD COP: cover me! DAD COP: *tucks him in* snug as a bug"
"What do you call a turtle who sleeps during the day and is awake at night? Nocturtle"
"Do you have porridge for breakfast? Kevin Bacon"
"TFW you wake up and Trump is elected president Going back to sleep now."
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven was a registered six offender."
"Startling awake... is a good way to startle a wake"
"Why don't programmers go on panty raids? Because they get undie find errors."
"What do you tell a slow tomato? ...what? Ketchup"
"Co-worker felt bad about throwing away a donation request from the Alzheimer's Association. I told him not to worry, they won't remember who they sent those to anyway."