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Joke of the Day

"When a rapper gets beer, how much do they get? A Two Pack"

"How do you make soup golden? You add 24 carrots."

"What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician? A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!"

"I got fucked by a priest 15 years ago... I still remeber his exact words...He said, ""You may now kiss the bride""!"

"What do tigers wear in bed ? Stripey pyjamas !"

"This hotel I'm staying at tomorrow lists ""elevators"" as one of its amenities. I never thought I'd fly this close to the sun."

"Daddy Bear -""Someones been sleeping in my bed."" Mummy Bear -""Wouldn't be the first time."" Daddy Bear -""It's been 3 years Sue, let it go."""

"What did the Pelican say to the fish when he was running late for work? I'll catch you later!"

"""my son, can I ask why you're carrying two HUGE crucifixes?"" Well father, I've been... Double-crossed *God starts breakdancing*"

"Fred: ""I can't believe Ben is in the hospital. Just yesterday, I saw him with a gorgeous blonde."" Bob: ""So did his wife."""