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Joke of the Day

"The parachute making business must be great! Because nobody ever comes back to complain about a failed chute!"

"America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and half is spent trying to lose weight, and half is spent on education."

"The 3yo insisted on helping me put all the laundry away. It's only taken us 6 hours & 10 minutes & apparently pants go in the fridge now."

"So a German installs a bath around his desk... BADUMTISCH"

"Why is the sport of cricket called cricket? A: **Because it's boring.** *Was told this by a 10 year old, and didn't quite get it at first, but I think it's rather genius.*"

"Yesterday I got dared to have surgery that prevented me from moving my neck... There's no turning back now"

"A Muslim guy killed 50 people in a mass shooting... Who says they can't integrate into American culture?"

"A blind man walks into a bar... ... and table, and a chair"

"In Russia, if you're blue, and you don't where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits: Putin on the Ritz"

"A camel can work 10 days without drinking, I can drink 10 days without working."