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Joke of the Day

"What type of lunch do you get at an air show? A plain one."

"How do you hydrate a 2 year old at Disney World? Gatorade"

"How do you capture a polar bear? Cut a big fishing hole in the ice. Wait for the polar bear to bend over the hole to fish. Then run up behind the polar bear and **kick it in the icehole!**"

"In Gaza Strip... ...Kykes gas you!"

"Interviewer: It says here on your resume you can make chicks laugh, how? Me [holding a chick in my hand & tickling it]: I'm a miracle worker"

"Dear Abby, I want to run over my neighbor with my SUV. How can I do that without raising my insurance rates?"

"I said ""sad face emoji"" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am."

"*friend gets divorced Mon* *friend goes on date Tues* *I break up with boyfriend* *15 years later I casually smile back at a stranger*"

"Why does Iraq have no Walmarts? Because there's a Target on every corner."

"I snort bits of pork when I'm hungry. I call them hamboogers."