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Joke of the Day

"They tried me make to go to rehab and I said what is rehab hombre I speak Spanish *huffs a lot paint*"

"A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender for an entendre ,She says ""double or single"" he says ""Double"" she says ""OK yours is a big one """

"People thought I was crazy when I said I was going to cure blindness. But they'll see. They'll all see!"

"I just shook the crumbs out of my keyboard and they spelled ""GAYLORD."" My haters grow more powerful everyday."

"It appears the brain trust has commenced its meeting. Listen to those synapses fire."

"Paint thinner? Bullshit. Been painting myself with it all week. Still fat."

"What's the latest Irish invention? A helicopter ejector seat"

"If I turn the food pyramid upside down it's way easier to eat out of it."

"What do you get if you squeeze a synagogue? Jews."

"They should have an Academy Award for ""Most Acting."""