133361

Joke of the Day

"Why were Wrigley, Doublemint, and Orbit watching CNN? To find out the latest on gum control legislation."

"Mommy monster: Don't eat that uranium. Little monster: Why not? Mommy monster: You'll get atomic-ache."

"Where did Noah keep his bees? In his ark hives"

"Two snakes Snake one asks ""Hey man, are we venomous?"" Snake two responds, ""Extremely. Why do you ask?"" ""Because I just bit my tongue"""

"Why did the ghost work at Scotland Yard? He was the Chief In-Spectre."

"You don't know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, an you take all the covers with you."

"Nuts nsfw What's nuts on the wall? Walnut What's nuts on a chest? Chestnut What's nuts on your chin? MY DICK IN YOUR MOUTH"

"I asked my friend if he wanted a drink and he said to surprise him so I brought back a side salad."

"During love scenes in a Wes Anderson movie, the sound effects guy rubs a baguette against corduroy."

"*sees a babe about to walk through a puddle* ""No no, allow me"" *gets on hands and knees and drinks the entire puddle so the babe stays dry*"