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Joke of the Day
"Why is Russia such a gassy country? Because their leader has been Putin for a long time."
Next Joke
"What did the field say to the farmer? Plow Me!"
"What did the clock say to the class? Stopwatch you're doing!"
"Which war was the hungriest? Viet-nom."
"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog."
"DATE: so what kind of writing do you do? ME: um, cursive, regular... DATE: no I mean- ME: actually I can't do cursive :/"
"I wish falling in love had traffic lights, so that I would know if I should go for it, slow down, or just stop!"
"When you're accused of buying someone a gift last-minute at Walgreens, don't reveal you actually went to Walgreens a month ago."
"The David Cameron diet: You'll never lose your pounds quicker."
"Someone told me flowers had sex organs... ....what a load of Poppycock!"