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Joke of the Day

"Is Google male or female? Female because she won't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion"

"How many billionaires does it take to create a superhero? Three: two to die and one to never get over it."

"Every time I see an obese family at a buffet, I throw a sack of marbles onto the table and have a live showing of Hungry Hungry Hippos."

"Every guy feels macho in his car. Until he races a woman who's late for something."

"what idiot named them diet pills instead of girth control"

"Just did my holiday shopping. I've got so many shorts now; I'm swimming in them!"

"My parents tell me to stop being a smart-alec... ...that's when I respond with ""My name's Tyler..."""

"cows are pretty nice to us considering that we eat them"

"Sometimes I'll casually say ""what else do you want?"" on the phone, so the pizza guy thinks I'm ordering for more than just me."

"How do cows multiply? With cowculators!"