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Joke of the Day

"Bishop to the Pope: Congratulations on your name's day Your Holiness! - Pope: But today we do not commemorate the name of Benedict? - Bishop: It is the 16th, though."

"Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford? Because he's Indie!"

"What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet? Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway."

"What do you call a turkey with no arms? a turkey"

"Why did the baseball player fail at the math test? He used base 3."

"My deity ignored my prayers today. The sacrifice was a disaster. First, I didn't have the correct incantation, and then the goat knocked over the candles. I guess two wrongs don't make a rite."

"What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a seal? A polar bear"

"Press 1 for English. Press 2 for Spanish. Press 3 for Spanglish with Adam Sandler. Press 4 for Gibberish with Flava Fav. Press # for ham."

"I have nice cans and beautiful ass, yet nobody likes me.. apparently you should also belong to the right gender."

"I'm not a professional photographer, I'm just a club photographer. I take pictures at the club & people pay me to delete them."