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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the drummer commit the crime? He couldn't handle the repercussions."

"I used to talk to my cat, but I stopped, because my dog told me I was crazy."

"What do sex and The Big Issue have in common? (Original Joke) I buy them exclusively from homeless people"

"*lady shares a wallet photo of her son* *i pull out a 20-part accordion wallet photo set of my dogs*"

"This Jewish kid asks his dad for five dollars... and his dad goes, ""Four dollars? What do you need three dollars for?"""

"NaCl / NaOH The base is under assault!"

"Why was Mr. Behaving sad? His daughter was always Ms. Behaving."

"TIL that Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up"

"I have an EpiPen... My friend gave it to me as he was dying...It seemed pretty important to him that I have it, I'll cherish it always. edit: grammar"

"Pots and pans set: $70. Wrapping paper: $5. Tape: $3. Watching your mother unbox and attempt to wrap said pots and pans: priceless."