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Joke of the Day

"[cat shelter] Me: so u don't test for it but u say none of them have it? Owner: we've never come across a cat with martial arts training, no"

"I told my friends I'm going on a date with a cute girl. They told me she's imaginary, but joke's on them, so are they."

"I can't imagine the enormous pressure on fat black women to be sassy all the time."

"What's the difference between a reindeer, a knight and a cock? The knight is slaying dragons, the reindeer is draggin' sleighs."

"What is called a honeymoon salad? Lettuce alone with no dressing."

"A sentence and a phrase is arguing, what did the sentence say? I know where you're coming from this phrase, but I can't see your point."

"What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common? They all have the same PR guy."

"Why was the woman sent to jail for 12 months, while the man got a year? Because there needs to be a period at the end of each sentence."

"Things to do before I start the thing I am supposed to be doing: All of the things."

"Why did the scarecrow get the Nobel prize? He was out standing in his field."