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Joke of the Day

"What did Kendrick Lamar say when Rihanna tried to unplug his VR headset? Bitch, don't kill my Vive."

"I was going to start my diet today, but as it turns out pizza still exists, so..."

"How do you get whole race to hate you? Blow up the finish line. (I figured 2 years was long enough)"

"What's the difference between a terrorist and a Jewish mother? You can make an agreement with a terrorist!"

"Ask me if you can join the pee club... Do it!"

"My new truck is older than my girlfriend... Its ok though a 12 year old truck still has a lot if life left."

"What do you call a poop that went to med school? Dookie Howser"

"[starbucks] me: can i take some wifi home with me? barista: um. sure(?) me: [holds tupperware container in the air & closes lid] thanks."

"what are you listening to right know ? candy shop."

"What's the difference between HP computers and HP in a video game? One of them you want to see a lot less of."