130279

Joke of the Day

"(confronts Beck in line at Jamba Juice, holds up hurried sketch of Beyonce, aggressively does ""Single Ladies"" dance)"

"A joke about a bird Eh, never mind. It would probably just go over your head."

"I literally never cry, so my body makes up for it by leaking out of different places. My doctor says it's called ""peeing"" what a dumb idiot."

"Why can you trust noone in the savannah? Cause they be lion."

"Every women should have four animals. A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed, and a jackass to pay for everything!"

"Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he was feeling a little funny. He had testicular cancer."

"Christian men should have sexual orientation listed as bi... ...because they love Jesus"

"How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced? A buccaneer!"

"[At job interview] M. ""No, English is my second language."" I. ""What's your first language then?"" M. ""Emoji."""

"Skydiving without a parachute is a once in a lifetime experience."