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Joke of the Day

"I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have ""flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you"" issues."

"Took my drivers test high on magic mushrooms. Passed with flying colors."

"What did the chopped wood say to the tree? Run!"

"what do you call 4 mexicans in a boat with a whole in it? Quattro cinco"

"""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" mean the same thing... except when you're at a funeral."

"I told my wife I'm not willing to help with the laundry but I am willing to draw nipples on her flesh colored bras so they'd be less creepy."

"Wanna know a joke? Look through this subreddit, there are plenty of good ones to be found!"

"I'm addicted to ass. It's like crack to me."

"What do Ryan Lochte and the water in Rio have in common? They're both full of shit."

"I've always had a problem finishing what I've started..."