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Joke of the Day

"If you love something,, let it go..... That's EXACTLY what I've done with my body...."

"This will be the fifth year in a row that my in-laws will come over for Christmas... I think this time, we should let them in..."

"WHITE BITCHES: stop flipping your hair into people. Be aware of yourself in space."

"Dear guys wearing skinny jeans, I... Can't.... Breathe.... Sincerely, your damn balls."

"My friend told me I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. I told him I'm not a tool or in a shed. Sure showed him."

"[Jesus at Last Supper] *breaks bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there"

"Raising awareness: Pinatas create unhealthy expectations of levitating rainbow donkeys."

"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."

"Reporter: Tell me about him Neighbor: He was so nice, sweet, friendly, funny R: Do you think he killed those people? N: Oh, yeah absolutely."

"We call her Skippy... because she's so easy to spread."