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Joke of the Day

"Reporter: Tell me about him Neighbor: He was so nice, sweet, friendly, funny R: Do you think he killed those people? N: Oh, yeah absolutely."

"I wonder if all the other popcorn kernels in the bag freak out when the first kernel pops"

"If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...? Stereotyping."

"I would vote for Trump if I could because I've never seen a president get assassinated"

"Whats the difference between a wank and an egg? You can beat an egg."

"Your momma's so fat... ...that when I asked her what her what her favorite time of the year was, she said, ""dinner time."""

"Imagine if American Waitresses didn't get a wage, but instead had to make do with.. Just the tip!"

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snow balls."

"Down in de islands, what do they call de dew in de morning? Daylight come!"

"ME: *opens planner and puts on reading glasses* no im sorry looks like i can't make it FRIEND: you're holding a VCR warranty brochure"