129668

Joke of the Day

"My friend, Damian, is crazy for apple products He's a macadamian nut."

"A dad and his son are getting competitive while playing Smash Bros. The dad says: ""I fucked your mom!"" To which the son replies instantly: ""Yeah, well I've been deeper inside her than you'll ever be!"""

"Me: Hi. Can I help you? Him: I'm here about the wanted ad for the one night stand Me: Great. Where is it? Him: What? Me: The nightstand."

"I'm having a hard time deciding which pillow I should buy. I'm going to sleep on it."

"I like to have have sex to #Kesha songs. I hate her so much that it makes for a great anger-fuck. #hopeshelikesitrough"

"""Why was the slab of marble upset?"" ""He was tired of everyone mistaking him for granite."""

"""You should date black guys""..... How girls tell each other they're fat."

"A cow went to war... But he didn't know what was at steak."

"She told me if I turned off the light I could put it in her butt I guess I should have let the bulb cool first."

"If watermelon exist why doesn't earthmelon,firemelon and airmelon? The elemelons."