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Joke of the Day

"What do firemen and Eastern European prostitutes have in common? They both go down on poles."

"You guys are so selfish, only think about yourselves, not important stuff. Who the FUCK is going to narrate Morgan Freemans life? WHO?!"

"Mexico's population is ill-equiped to deal with Hurricane Patricia The Mexicans that are good at swimming and running have long been gone."

"When someone says ""surprise me"", I immediately drop my pants and start singing its raining men."

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. I would like you to join my professional network on LinkedIn."

"worst place to be stung by bees is the club bc it just looks like you're doing cool dance moves & sure u win the dance off but at what cost"

"Two old drunks I was sitting in a bar with my friend and I noticed two old drunks across the bar from us. I laughed and said, ""That's us in ten years."" My friend replied, ""That's a mirror, dipshit."""

"Why did the photographer get arrested? He was charged with shooting kids and framing the parents."

"this is ironic apparently Joan of arc loved a good barbecue."

"During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old ""why did you even marry me?"" line. Apparently ""Your sister was already taken"" was not the right answer."