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Joke of the Day

"My wife gives me the speaking treatment."

"Someone told me that women live to be woken up with oral sex... ... but when I tried it my wife woke up and said ""WTF get that thing out of my mouth!!"""

"When trying to determine the best place in Charlotte to go for a team building event, go to the White Water Center... It's a no brainer..."

"What is easier done than said?"

"[becomes allergic to the floor midway through a date & slowly floats out of a window]"

"Want to spice things up? Look them right in the eyes and lick their fingers seductively. My dentist didn't appreciate it, but yours might."

"drank a Mike's Hard Lemonade & crashed my dirt bike into a mailbox RT @McDonalds Good morning! How was your weekend?"

"Trump will be President until 2020 It would have been 20:15, but the sniper got stuck in traffic..."

"How does a butt pirate prevent scurvy. He eats a lot of ""fruits""."

"What does Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse have in common? They both used to be on top gear."