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Joke of the Day
"FUN FACT: Bears hibernate in the winter just to get away from Christmas music..."
Next Joke
"What's a pirates favorite letter? Ayyyy, tis true he loves R, but his true love is the C!"
"ME: I wish I was a little bit taller GENIE: done M: I wish I was a baller G: done M: I wish I knew the rest of the lyrics G: done M: dammit"
"What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you fucking racist."
"There is a guy who lives in my town that holds the record for the most concussions by a human. He actually lives right near me, only a stone's throw away."
"Whats the difference between a prostitute and a bowling ball? You can't fit a prostitute in a bowling ball."
"Do you, Karen, take David the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse?"
"Criminal Tip: Buy a gun from a guy off the streets. As soon as he sells it to you, point it at him & get your $$ back. Free gun."
"Men say they love Asian women but every time I fry up a new boyfriend's cat or dog it's like all the appreciation goes out the window."
"[drive-thru at 2am] Whaazzuupp!? Lemme gets 12 tacos, 6 burritos, and a Diet Coke. Booyah! Neighbor's mailbox: ..."