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Joke of the Day
"What type of transporter does Mr. Scott use? A Beemer."
Next Joke
"An eskimo on holiday in Wales... His car breaks down. A Welshman looks under the bonnet and says, ""you've blown a seal"" Eskimo says ""so what, you fuck sheep"""
"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wiped his ass."
"Any restaurant can be family style if the waiter criticizes your order"
"ROOMMATE: While I'm away, can you get some mice to feed my pet snake? ME: Sure [later] ME [to mice] Come on fellas, pls just cook something"
"The Disney Channel should be renamed 'Celebrity Prehab.'"
"I wish mirrors and cameras would get together and figure out what I really look like."
"Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you're the valet. 3. Say yes."
"How do you confuse a gay? Seven"
"ME ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you ? My Wife... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!"