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Joke of the Day

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know y"

"A local plastic surgeon started giving away free breast implants... They're up for grabs."

"Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV."

"Did you hear about the guy who had ADD and schizophrenia? He heard voices, but could never pay attention long enough to them to do anything crazy."

"3 cars back at the Burger King drive thru gives you a devastating amount of time to consider your missteps."

"Saudi Arabia 'chosen to head key UN human rights panel' Joke is UN."

"Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel."

"What are your best family friendly Christmas jokes? I need some for tonight."

"So Kim Kardashian's arse is huge and has a lot of oil I wonder if America will invade it? Oh wait, my bad, half of America already has"

"I learned 2 things at least when I was married 1. Always passcode lock your phone 2. Don't use a nude pic of your gf as the lock screen"