128428

Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone banned from an Indian restaurant? Persona naan grata! sorry....."

"My girlfriend doesn't think I can think fix the electric shower. Well, she's in for a shock"

"What do pickles do to make themselves look more beautiful They get Vlasic surgery"

"What happened to the muslim who smoked weed? They got stoned"

"I tripped over some stupid plant so I gave it the finger and walked in a circle around it because I wasn't sure where its stupid eyes were."

"Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US? Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776."

"How do you reuse a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it."

"DEATH: You're grounded! Get back here! DEATH'S DAUGHTER: Whatever. *gets on motorcycle, zooms across tightrope* DEATH: HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME!"

"they say running is addictive, that's why i don't do it, i'm afraid i'll end up in a fitness gym alley offering sex for treadmill time."

"Today in 1949, Bruce Springsteen was born. He became ""The Boss"" after several years as ""The Assistant Regional Manager."""