128399

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an all guy Christian party? A suseJ fest"

"Why did God invent Yeast infections? So woman know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt!"

"I can never tell if a mother duck is being dutifully followed by her ducklings or chased by a gang of young duck criminals."

"Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they'll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food."

"Why did the doe give the faun an umbrella? In case of reindeer. And because I caribou."

"The nicotine patch is great. I get my addiction out of the hands of the evil tobacco industry and into the loving arms of big pharma."

"Here it is, folks: ""Do imaginary octopi have ... (wait for it) (wait for it) PRETENDACLES?"""

"A squirrel walks into a bar high on shrooms.... ...He looks at everybody and shouts: ""YOU'RE ALL FUCKING NUTS!"""

"if i opened my Gryffindor Would you Slytherin?"

"What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme"