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Joke of the Day
"I often cry after sex. But in my defence, I use a pretty big onion."
Next Joke
"HELP!!! I've just spunked all over my mother's chest by accident whilst she was asleep. If she finds out, she's going to go fucking crazy. Anybody know how to clean cum off antique oak wood??"
"You don't need a parachute to go skydiving: **However**, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice"
"Irony walks into a bar the same time as a Coincidence. The bartender asks what they want? ""Not to be confused with each other."""
"I never buy a new couch without first seeing what it looks like with five loads of laundry piled on top of it."
"I thought up a color that doesn't exist... It's just a pigment of my imagination."
"[date] W: I'm really into astronomy. M: Oh! What's your sign? W: The one that knows the difference between science & superstitious idiocy."
"Starting a conversation Do you know how heavy a polar bear is? Enough to break the ice. *winks*"
"Rap videos are completely unrealistic. Nobody has that many friends."
"Do you that thing about German people? There Himmel ist blau."