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Joke of the Day

"He insulted my sister, and I let it slide. He insulted my mother, and I let it slide. Then...he insulted my tweets."

"What did the pervert get for Christmas? A partial in a pear tree."

"When Snoop Dogg was born, he had 3pounds .. in his possession."

"Need a clean joke about sexually transmitted diseases for my presentation tomorrow. Please help! Update: I chose to go with ""my name is _____ _____ and I have STDs... (pause) as my topic"""

"I don't care if you're a dog person or a cat person, I generally don't date anyone with a tail."

"Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe."

"Why do they call it PMSing? Mad Cow disease was already taken."

"I had a failed amputation... Costed me an arm and a leg."

"Why did the artist throw his eraser away? Because it wasn't *kneaded*"

"How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly? The meth head still has teeth."