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Joke of the Day

"What kind of apes can you find swinging on vines? GrApes"

"How do you calm down a grammar Nazi? There they're their..."

"What's a trees favorite drink? Root beer"

"I look at people sometimes and think..for real? That's the sperm that won?"

"In hell, you have to find the start to Scotch Tape over and over."

"I hope the next Rambo movie is called 'Rambo No. 5' and its just Stallone dancing through the jungle shooting a little bit of this and that."

"The difference between ordinary and extraordinary Is the amount of time you waste browsing Reddit, loser."

"Apparently 1 out of 3 people cheat in a relationship I just don't know whether it's my wife, or girlfriend."

"I told her she has a nice ass. As a lady, she looked at me like my mom didn't raise me right. But we all know she'll smile about it in the ladies room."

"I said to the wife, ""I'm horny."" ""What you want me to do?"" ""Have sex with me."" ""Oh, really?"" ""No, just joking,"" I laughed. ""I just wanted to give you a headache."""