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Joke of the Day

"I said to the wife, ""I'm horny."" ""What you want me to do?"" ""Have sex with me."" ""Oh, really?"" ""No, just joking,"" I laughed. ""I just wanted to give you a headache."""

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"What did the Soviet man have to say about the Nazis? U SS R the worst"
"What's the difference between jam and marmalade.... You can't marmalade your cock, up a girls' ass!"
"Person: What do you think you're going to be doing in 5 years? Me: I dont know, I dont have 2020 vision"
"I'm still mad NYC banned the lead paint I used to like sucking off my tenement windowsills. #DontTreadOnMe"
"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture."
"What's red and has two legs? Half a cat"
"If I was a real superhero I'd be Constipation Man. And stop shit from happening."
"Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF. All my base are belong to you."
"Take it Like a Man ""Take it like a man"" is a phrase that means something completely different if one is hit in the crotch."